Mr. ‘Go Daddy’ is a dick

Bob Parsons, CEO of (a domain registrar service) is a dick. Apparently he has gone to Africa at least twice to shoot elephants. Parsons says this is a ‘good deed’ because the elephants he shoots are ones which have been ‘identified’ as ‘problem elephants’ that trample crops, break fences, etc. The farmers are in danger of starving, reasons Parsons, therefore they need people like me to come to Africa like a rich white hunter, pay a fuck of a lot money (60-70k Parsons estimates) and shoot the elephant and then put a video of it on You Tube. Parsons derides anyone who criticizes him as guilty of ‘PC bullshit.’

Bob Parsons fails to mention that elephants probably see the problem differently. If elephants had publicists, they would probably point out that because of economic disparity among humans in Africa, the poor continue to expand into wilderness areas. “We are not trampling their crops,” the elephants might say, “They are planting their crops on our feeding grounds.”

Most of the agriculture currently being performed in Sub Saharan Africa is unsustainable: the rate of development and the rate of soil depletion spell long term disaster for both elephants AND humans. But Mr. GoDaddy wants to get his rocks off by killing elephants while pretending that shooting elephants is an act of charity… so he really isn’t interested in ‘helping the humans’ of Zimbabwe — there are a lot of ways he could do that without shooting elephants — like financing sustainable agriculture initiatives in Zimbabwe that would address soil depletion and allow farmers to keep farming the same soil without having to pick up and move every couple of years… or electric fences, scent fences, electronic noise makers and other forms of non-lethal elephant repellant. If he’s just a humanitarian who just wants to kill elephants for humanitarian purposes, why doesn’t he hire AN AFRICAN to kill the elephant? But no. Like many super-rich sick fucks, he wants the thrill of doing something that very few people can afford to do.

Rather than a video of Bob Parsons shooting an elephant, I’d like to see a video of an elephant stomping Bob Parsons into the ground.

7 Comments on “Mr. ‘Go Daddy’ is a dick”

  1. Wow, thanks for the info. What an asshole. I love how these rich dickheads can justify and rationalize their totally amoral behavior.

  2. mikemonaco says:

    “White hunter, black heart,” huh?

  3. JDJarvis says:

    @DHBoggs, it's be darned odd if limpey was badmouthing people that saw things the same way he did.

  4. DHBoggs says:

    And worse. Just noticed the last bit about wanting to see a video of the man trampled to death.

    Really? You really want to see someone being killed? Not an ax murderer, not a rapist, but some ceo who went on a hunting trip. You want to WATCH this human being getting mauled by an animal?

    That's sickening.

  5. ClawCarver says:

    DHBoggs thinks it's sickening. I think it'd be poetic justice.

    Likewise, I love the Corben piece but I can't help hoping the pachycephalosaur's not quite dead and it's about to take that posing fucker's foot off.

  6. Pere Ubu says:

    The elephants can't afford as good a PR company as Mr. Parsons can, evidently. You'd think Hill & Knowlton would do some pro-elephant pro bono work to make up for the evil shit they've pulled in the past, but I guess not.

    I guess blowing away some wildlife (a favorite hobby of pinheads with too much spondulix for their own good) and then handing out the meat like Reagan's government cheese is SO much better for Africa than, say, investing that 70K in agriculture or water or infrastructure or something pussy like that.

  7. Chris says:


    If he'd done this a century ago he could have at least *pretended* he didn't know he was killing an intelligent animal. This is the 21st century though: we know (and should act) better now.

    Next up: Bob Parsons tries to justify flying to Mauritania to buy him some cheap slaves. “Hey, it's legal there. And I'm offering them a better life working on my plantation than they'd get back home.”

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