I dare you to post this to your blog…; NSFW

The other day I read this on Raggi’s LotFP blog:

So I’m contacting some artists and actually using the words, “Give me something that will get me arrested for publishing it.”

I am not one of the artists that Raggi contacted, but his challenge touched something in my base nature… and I wanted to see if I could draw something that would get Jim Raggi arrested for publishing it. Several ideas were considered and discarded. Zak S. (of Pornstars fame) submitted a link to a particularly good drawing that involved dildo-wielding midgets with T-pins in their eyes. I decided to consider the gauntlet thrown down and tried to combine things that would make Larry Flynt uncomfortable (for the record, I don’t think I managed to produce something that would make Larry Flynt squirm).

Cannibalism is pretty bad, so I had to put that in… but necrophilia is worse… so why not both? For some reason naked females don’t make most viewers uncomfortable, but seeing men with their dicks hanging out does… so I had to have several dicks in the drawing. But not just men who were naked with flaccid dicks — they had to be naked men sticking their dicks in places where most decent people would think they didn’t belong. Hence a goblin throat-fucking a decapitated human corpse. In retrospect, I should have included pedophilia, but one can’t think of everything. One of the goblins is eating a still living human baby while shitting in the mouth of a severed human head… that ought to count for something.

I finished the drawing and emailed a scan to Raggi, hoping to hear him say, “This will be the cover of my next adventure!” Unfortunately, all I got was:

I dare you to put that on your blog.

Maybe that’ll start one of these meme things I keep hearing about.

That Raggi is all talk.

Unfortunately, even the most casual perusal of art history reveals that all of this stuff has been done before (and usually done better — Goya’s “Saturn devours his Sons“* is so sick and cool). I’ve seen a shitload of medieval woodcuts illustrating “Der Kinderfresser” (The child eater). They even erected a statue of him in Switzerland. Torture and impaling has been well covered, especially in the illustrations of the Catholic Church going to work on the heretics and the Protestant denominations going to work on the witches. Images of rape are as old as pornography. About the only new idea I have is a goblin fucking the throat of a decapitated corpse… but surely I cannot be the first person to think of that?

*Goya apparently put this picture on the wall of his dining room where he and his family ate their meals… which must had lead to some interesting dinner conversations.

Update 12/29/2011: This picture apparently has a cult following now and is being cited as proof’ of my degeneracy and/or genius.  I guess that means that as an artist I have finally “arrived.”

Come drink from the fountain!


4 Comments on “I dare you to post this to your blog…; NSFW”

  1. So is Raggi going to use it or no?

  2. tsojcanth says:

    Dude, that’s epic: shame about not all people depicted are human. There should totally be an adventure using that as cover.

    Are you going to use it or licence it someway? 🙂

  3. limpey says:

    The goblin ‘aristocrats’ is not scheduled for publication anywhere.

    This post was originally on blogger; then I moved to wordpress. Unfortunately, the original comments (there were a lot of them; I was a lot more popular back then) vanished when I moved blogs. Too bad; many of them were funny.

  4. I remember seeing this on your old blog and thinking “EW!! haha! Now those goblins are actually Evil, excellent!!”

    It reminded me a bit of Simon Bisley’s Paradise Lost for sheer ability to make you want to avert your eyes. Google that at your own risk.


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