Zombie attack in Florida

The police in Florida would have you believe that the incident that involved a naked man being shot by police after he had been ordered to stop eating another man’s face is just a case of a guy in a drug induced psychosis, but you and I know the real truth.  Yes, my fellow Americans, make my words — on Memorial Day Weekend 2012 we had the first case of the Thanatos Virus reported in the US.  And zombies are like roaches… for every one you see, there are ten more, so it will only get worse!

I hope, for the public’s sake, that the victim is isolated and restrained. Perhaps it would be a mercy to put a bullet in the man’s brain — I know that’s what I would want if it were me.

I guess I better call in tomorrow. I will need the whole day to stock up on plywood for the windows, canned food and water as well as ammo.


Chuck Brown has Gone Gone

Sad news for funk lovers, Chuck Brown, father of Go-Go, died yesterday.  I wish I could claim I was so hip and smart and knew all about him for years — truth is, I only found out about him a few years ago thanks to some mix tapes that Annie plays sometimes in the evenings… I kept hearing these songs that sounded familiar, like “Busting Loose,” but I couldn’t quite place them… like a dose of James Brown with a pinch of Kid Creole, maybe…  I found out that the group in question was Chuck Brown and The Soul Searchers (no relation to James) — at 75, he had lived a full life, had many hits and ups and downs… I’m just sorry it took so long for me to find out about this true talent.


Fallout 3

Kapow!

I seem to play video games 3-4 years after everyone else has already gotten sick of them.  Part of it is just my contrary nature; when something is being hyped, I don’t want to like it… which helps me to continue to delude myself into seeing myself as an independent thinker.  And I am in need of a tech upgrade before I can run any of the newer titles.  So, Fallout 3 (released years ago) has finally made it to my desktop.  And I love it.

If you don’t know anything about Fallout 3, look at things like this wikipedia article.  Fallout 3 is to Oblivion what Gamma World was to D&D.  Back in the Halcyon days of my youth, when I was less jaded and still liked things and video games needed you to put a quarter in to enjoy the sweet stick figures of games like Venture, we played D&D a lot.  And we loved it.  Then one day, my friend Alan picked up Gamma World, and that was even more fun, simply because the game lent itself to a certain black humor and had fewer pretensions to realism or seriousness (at least in our game group).

I really like the art direction that Bethesda used for Fallout 3.  Ruined technology and cars looked like what people in 1950s America thought the future was going to look like — lots of rivets and vacuum tubes rather than transistors and solid state.  Everywhere is dangerous.  And there is some great old-timey music in the game, including Bob Crosby’s “Good Hearts and Gentle People.”  When you shoot people and creatures, their limbs and heads tend to fly off if you score a critical.  If you use V.A.T.S. (a special targeting system), they explode in slow motion and you get to watch it in 3rd person.  And there are lots and lots of guns.  My only complaint is that the monsters and NPCs are sometimes just pretty stupid, and I wish the game had a more extensive bestiary — thus far I have fought mole rats, mirelurks (which are crab people), human bandits, bloatflies (which are giant flies that shoot larvae at you like bullets) and giant scorpions… and as I get tougher, I suspect other monsters will be encountered, but, still, I’d like more variety. D&D spoiled me because there was always a new monster.
I’m only about 5-6 hours in, but having a blast.  It is usually the simple things that make me happy.


Delayed announcement

Paolo from The Lost Pages Blog commissioned me to do a color illo for a cover for his Adventure Fantasy Game; I shipped it off to him last week but have been distracted by other stuff; I didn’t notice until today that it was up on his site so now I can share it with you.
We see a group of intrepid explorers with pistols, swords and spells fighting their way through a horde of skeletons.  Maybe they are going to that castle in the valley?


Crabmen

I have to admit that mirelurks (aka crabmen) are the awesome shit. I understand that one ought to shoot them in the face — shooting them elsewhere is usually a waste of ammo unless what you are shooting them with will blow them to bits.  Best served with lemon and butter, accompanied by a dry white wine. I like Pinot Grigiot, but I’ve been told my palette has all the refinement of an old boot sole, so ask your waiter.


Updates from the normal life (warning: boring)

Not my actual workplace. The plant is a nice touch.

Yesterday (or the day before?) I posted, “Too busy to post right now.” Which is completely stupid… since I obviously had enough time to log into blogger and post that I was too busy to post.

I started a new job last Wednesday.  This has caused brain overload and time management issues.  The job requires about an hour’s commute each direction and is in an office, so I have to look nice and be nice.  I am currently trying to help rewrite user policies for cellphone/wireless devices that the employees/contractors of a manufacturer use in the course of their work.  In these documents, we need to tell them things that most people should know (like “Don’t use your device to %^&$ up the company, don’t text while driving, don’t use pay-for-use services if you don’t have to, yes, you can use the cellphone to call your family, but remember that it isn’t really YOUR cellphone and the company will bill you for non-work related charges,” etc.). I have to write these things but make them sound nice and not snotty. Most of it seems to be what most of us would describe as ‘common sense stuff,’ but if my past experience is an indicator, there is always someone in every workplace who will take the fact that there is no rule specifically prohibiting a really bad behavior as an invitation to engage in it.  So, yeah, there will always be someone who will explain to HR, “I ate my co-worker because there was no policy in my employee handbook telling me that cannibalism was not permitted…”



The job provides a much needed cash infusion but interferes with things that are important to me, like sleeping late or being slovenly.


Updates

I have a new day job + a lot of other stuff going on; I am too busy to post right now.

edit: I have a new job doing writing/analysis for a manufacturer here in the Detroit area.  I’m starting with user policies for mobile devices.  In my more smart-alecky moments, I imagine myself writing things like, “If your job requires a smart phone, don’t do bad things with it that will screw up your job and get the company in trouble.  Don’t use a pay-per-use service or use up minutes on your phone or other device when you have other options that don’t cost money, like talking to the guy next to you instead of texting him.  Don’t throw your cell phone out the window or we might make you pay for it…“. I know that stating the obvious, like “Don’t set yourself on fire,” does not seem like helpful advice, but at a previous employer we had a group of employees who would do things like go out to their cars in the parking lot and take naps while ‘on the clock’ and when their supervisor confronted them with this, saying “You can’t do that,” they countered with, “Well, you never said we couldn’t so I assumed we could.”  And it worked for them, at least for a while