Crazy, crazy, crazy in Trenton, Michigan

I was interested to learn that in the nearby Trenton, Michigan, we have a textbook perfect case of chaotic crazy.

Three years ago, Jennifer Petrov wanted to have her children invited to the birthday party of Kathleen Edwards (a young girl who lives right across the street). Petrov sent a text message to Kathleen’s stepmother requesting an invitation, but the message was not returned in time to attend (I wonder why she would text and then wait for a time sensitive response from someone across the street when she could have walked over and knocked on the door, but that remains unanswered). Petrov took umbrage at the lack of an invite and at some point began to taunt the family and child who had failed to extend an invitation.

The seven year old, Kathleen Edwards, has Huntington’s disease. Both her biological mother and her grandfather died of Huntington’s. I don’t know much about Huntington’s other than the patients suffer increasing pain and gradual loss of motor control and there is no cure. Diagnosis with Huntington’s is a death sentence. Kathleen Edwards’ father has publicly stated that he does not want anything from the Petrovs other than to be left alone.

Among other insults, Petrov posted a picture on her Facebook page in which she had superimposed the face of Kathleen Edwards on a skull and crossbones. Petrov also posted a picture of Kathleen’s deceased mother being embraced by the grim reaper. The taunts included, “I’ll be glad when you are dead!” Her husband built a coffin of plywood and affixed it to their pickup truck. Neighbors said the Petrovs would stop the truck in front of the Edwards house and gun the engine to draw attention to the vehicle, but the Petrovs subsequently claimed the truck was just an expression of their interest in television shows like “Sons of Anarchy” and not intended to be offensive.

The Edwards took out “Personal Protection Orders” with the Trenton Police against the Petrovs which prevent the Petrovs from speaking to or contacting the Edwards.

One of the local news channels went to the scene of this trainwreck and asked Jennifer Petrov why she was taunting this 7 year old girl. “Personal satisfaction,” she said. “Because it rubs their a—s raw. Burns their a—s.” She said all this in front of reporters with at least one video camera and, of course, this being ‘journalistic gold,’ the clip of Mrs. Petrov’s less than charitable rationalization of her crusade against a seven year old girl and her family ended up on the evening news and the web.

The story and video went viral. The condemnations, threats and insults against the Petrovs have poured in from around the globe. Her husband was suspended from his job. People threw eggs at the Petrov’s house.

At some point, however, the community’s overwhelmingly negative reaction seems to have forced Jennifer Petrov to feel compelled to issue an apology of sorts (see above link). The ‘apology’ came in the form of a statement saying that she was sorry if her statements and actions hurt anyone’s feelings, thus implying (tangentially) that the problem lay with the Edwards’ oversensitivity rather than with Mrs. Petrov’s public relishing of the girl’s impending demise. This is just idle speculation on my part, but I wonder if Kathleen’s stepmother decided to NOT respond to the text message in question three years ago because she didn’t want to deal with having the Petrovs (or at least their mother) in her house. It is not inconceivable to me that Mrs. Petrov was mean spirited or irascible before the invitation incident and that might have encouraged the stepmother to ignore the text in order to avoid having her at the party.

Aside from it’s tabloid value, I find myself wondering if this sort of story is a “sign of the times” or have people always been capable of being this crazy? Clearly, Jennifer Petrov relished stoking the conflict (at least until it began to backfire, resulting in her husband getting laid off, etc). And there are some truly horrible people in history, but historical evil, at least in my view, seems to be coupled with ambition. The Adolf Hitlers of the world seem to do what they do to create empires or write their names in history. Setting up a Facebook page to taunt the family of someone dying of Huntington’s seems so pathetic and pointless in comparison. Hopefully no one sees my statement as an attempt to rationalize Hitler’s evil by saying, “Well, at least Hitler had ambition!” But I just can’t understand why Jennifer Petrov had become so invested in attempting to harass the Edwards family and their daughter. Perhaps historical evil is easier for me to understand because it is often framed in the context of ambition and empire. But harassing your neighbors because they didn’t invite you to a birthday party? What kind of sick shit is that?


HEY! It’s COME OUT IF YOU ARE GAY DAY!

I didn’t realize that today was “National Coming Out” day. I didn’t even know we had a National Coming Out day. But, in the spirit of that day, let me take this moment to slam the New York State Republican Gubernatorial Candidate, Carl Paladino, for being an ass.

If you haven’t been keeping track, Paladino first stated that he was against gay marriage and said that he once ended up at a gay pride parade “by accident” and was disgusted by the sight of grown men “grinding” against each other, and he criticized his opponent for having attended a Gay Pride parade with his daughters, saying that bringing your children to a Gay Pride parade was a way of teaching them that ‘gay was OK’ but he believed that Gay was not OK. Then, later, when his opponent criticized Paladino as ‘anti-gay,’ Paladino said that he wasn’t a homophobe and the whole story of his anti-gay remarks was really his opponents attempt to smear him.

“What?”

I am not gay, but I think we, as a nation, don’t need the government telling us who can be in our family or not. I think marriage should be a legal contract between consenting adult humans. Since one cannot enter into a legally binding contract with a child, animal or object, I think arguments that say that gay marriage is the thin wedge that will inevitably lead to people marrying children or turtles or appliances are a crock. I also think that ministers who do not approve of gay marriage should feel free to refuse to marry any same sex couples who come to them.

Paladino is a complete turd because he wants to gain the support of that section of the populace that dislikes the idea of gays getting married, so he says that gays shouldn’t marry and that the gay pride parade is ‘disgusting,’ but, at the same time, when his opponents dare to state the obvious (i.e.: if you support marriage rights for all, Paladino is NOT the candidate you want), he cries foul.

Given the usual trajectory of these blowhards who spend a lot of time publicly worrying that gays are gonna get the right to marry, it’s probably just a matter of time before Paladino is caught with a “wide stance” in a public restroom, or hiring a rent boy to help him “lift his luggage”, or buying sex and drugs from a male “masseuse.” It seems that the louder folks bitch about something, the more likely they have some unresolved issues with whatever it is that they are bitching about. My own theory is that Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, is so outspoken in his hatred of gays because he is scared to death by the fact that he feels “same sex attraction.”

Anyway, enough about Paladino, Phelps and all the rest. Now that I know that today is “come out of the closet day,” is there anything that I am going to try to do differently? I realize that I still use words like “homo” and “gay” as insults and to get a cheap laugh… but, interestingly enough, I don’t use these words pejoratively around people I know who are gay — which makes me into a sort of a “closet bigot.” So, in the coming year, I am going to try to take more responsibility for my language… and that means dropping the cheap shots on gays that I do to get a laugh out of my straight friends. It’s going to be a challenge because I grew up in the 70s and 80s (when it was usually socially ‘safe’ to hate on gays in straight culture — much like it was ‘safe’ to hate on blacks in white culture during the 1940s), so the behavior is pretty ingrained… but I also realize that every time I make a cheap crack around my straight friends that I would avoid around my gay friends, it makes me into a hypocrite like Paladino.

If you are curious about the picture, above, I typed “Gay Unicorn” into google image search and this was the best image that popped up out of the first few results.


Two New Freaks and removeable heads

I’ve been sick as a dog for the past week with the worst head cold of my life, so I haven’t felt particularly inspired… but somehow managed to drag my sorry ass out of bed long enough to do a few things (including attending a 5 hour event at MOCAD — by the end of which I swear I was going to pass out).

First up is another creature in a possible series from Mandeville’s travels; a cynocephale (dog-headed man). Some of the period illustrations of the cynocephales showed them as having fur all over their bodies, others illustrations show them with fur only on their heads. I opted for the fur body — he isn’t wearing anything other than a bracelet. I had a hard time deciding whether or not to give him a tail, but none of the period illustrations I looked at had tails, so I left it off.

I’ve been using felt tipped markers on a sketch pad paper rather than my regular pen, brush and ink on Bristol and am still trying to get the feel for these new tools. One of the advantages is that I can work anywhere and traveling with a couple of felt tips and a pad is easier than needing a bottle of india ink, pens, brushes, cleaning supplies, etc. I’m less happy with this one than the picture of the Blemmye I did earlier — mostly because the legs look fucked up. But I like using a paper with a less smooth surface than the Bristol, although I miss the brush a lot.

Next up is a headless zombie, and she’s coming right down the sewer tunnel at you! This is from an adventure idea I had based on one of the characters from “The Oz” series of books. In one of the books, there was a character named Princess Langwidere who had a palace in which there were cabinets containing many ‘swappable’ heads. Langwidere could just take her head off and replace it whenever she wanted with another head from her collection. When Dorthy Gale wandered into the picture, Langwidere decided she wanted Dorthy’s head and offered her another from her collection in exchange. I don’t remember quite how it turned out (other than Dorthy retained her head), but I always liked the swappable heads idea.

The adventure idea might be a city/town location where all female visitors are carefully inspected when they arrive at the gate… and, if they have an attractive face or a nice head of hair (or are even interesting or exotic looking), they are summoned to the castle for a royal audience where the Princess/Duchess/Baroness/etc., will demand they swap heads with her because she wants their head for her collection. She wouldn’t be interested in bearded female dwarf heads or tiny hobbit heads, but human or elven heads would probably strike her fancy.

I haven’t worked out how the heads are removed — perhaps a magic axe that severs the head without all the blood and gore and death? Then the user can just put the head on the stump of the neck and it sticks like Velcro. Langwidere probably wears some sort of a choker to cover the seam. I might rule that if you ever put your own “original” head back on, it will immediately graft itself into place and the only way to get it off again (without getting killed in the process) is to use the magic axe. If, after having their head severed by this magic axe, the user does not place a head of some kind on the body, they will eventually turn into a ‘headless zombie.’

One of the possible adventures could be that the party might either have to return to the palace to either free their female companions (who might be trapped in a dungeon for having refused to give up their heads) or they might want to break into the palace to retrieve the original head of their female companion if they have been forced to relinquish their original head.

One of the ways into the castle is through the sewers… but the sewers are inhabited by the animate corpses of the Princess’ former enemies or women who made a nuisance of themselves by demanding their heads back.


Travels of Sir John Mandeville and finishing things

One of my new intentions is to try and finish things. For example, I have hundreds of drawings lying around that I have been too lazy to finish. One of the ‘first fruits’ of my newfound ambition is the drawing of a creature known to our ancestors as a ‘Blemmye,’ at right.

“Blemmyes” belong to that class of creature which today would be called an ‘urban legend’ or ‘folk lore’ — like leprechauns or the Loch Ness monster. But in the 16th century, before satellites were constantly photographing the earth from overhead and everything had been google-earthed, there were still lots of blank spaces on the map marked with question marks. Someone (author unknown) wrote about“The Travels of Sir John Mandeville.” Mandeville had apparently travelled to some of those blank spaces on the map and returned to tell of the tale.

Mandeville gives details of the lives of different species of humans like the ‘Skiapods,’ ‘Cynocephales,’ the ‘Cyclopes’ and the ‘Blemmeyes.’ As you can see, the Blemmyes have no head (making decapitation and buying shirts difficult) and their faces are on their chests. Belatedly, I realized that my Blemmeye has no ears; in some of the classic illustrations, the Blemmye is portrayed as having ears that flank his eyes… and female Blemmyes are portrayed as having boobs that start on their cheeks.

Another favorite is the ‘Cynocephales;’ a race of men with the heads of dogs (sometimes portrayed with fur). Their speech apparently sounds like barking and Mandeville notes that although they are very intelligent and reasonable, they worship a god who takes the form of an ox (I suppose thinking that god could be an ox seems just silly to Mandeville, since, as a Christian, he knows that god is really a dead man nailed to some wood).

‘Skiapods’ have one leg and a single giant foot which the Skiapod uses to shield himself from the sun. The classic illustrations of the Skiapods I have seen almost always portray them as lying on their back in the shade of their own giant foot (like in the period woodcut at right); I wonder if the skiapod puts sunscreen on the sole of his foot? Or does he just wear a big-ass shoe?

A sample of the unknown author’s prose:

From this land men go to another isle that is clept Silha. And it is well a 800 miles about. In that land is full much waste, for it is full of serpents, of dragons and of cockodrills, that no man dare dwell there. These cockodrills be serpents, yellow and rayed above, and have four feet and short thighs, and great nails as claws or talons. And there be some that have five fathoms in length, and some of six and of eight and of ten. And when they go by places that be gravelly, it seemeth as though men had drawn a great tree through the gravelly place. And there be also many wild beasts, and namely of elephants.

The book is filled with all sorts of creatures, countries, personalities and observations; like giant snails, dragons, Prester John and other weird stuff. I’ve only read bits of “The Travels of Sir John Mandeville;” maybe I’ll have to make time to read some more of it.

(edit: corrected spelling of ‘Blemeye’ to ‘Blemmye’; and discovered this was also the name used by the Romans for a tribe of Nubian nomads with conventional anatomy (it is not known what they called themselves) — how the name came to be applied to the headless people of Mandeville’s travel is unknown… also found out that ‘cockodrill’ probably means ‘crocodile.’)


MINES OF KHUNMAR to be published (soonish I hope)

A few years ago I released a pdf of notes and maps (about 5 mb — 50-60 pages) of a “megadungeon” of my own creation that had been ‘under construction’ since 1980 or so. It got some approval from those who like big-ass dungeons, like here… or here… or elsewhere.

But the initial release (in 2004), although free, was just a scan of about 90% of the maps (eight levels; each level consists of around 2 to 5 maps) and very brief summaries (written by me) of what was on each level. It was just an outline.

Enter Geoffrey McKinney. He downloaded the ‘outline’ and wrote me to say that he wanted to see it printed. I hemmed and hawed and whined that the original notes were all written in pencil or ink on school notebook paper with lots of abbreviations and cross-outs and spelling errors and my handwriting was crap anyway, so he said that if I scanned the pages, he would type them up and send me an MS word copy. I took him up on his kind offer.

About a year ago, one of the OSR publishers approached me to ask if I would like to see Khunmar go to print. We had some discussions, but after a year we hadn’t made much progress, and, since I have been out of work for a while, I decided that if ever I was going to have time to work on Khunmar, it would have to be now. Previously I had released ‘Exquisite Corpses’ via Lulu and had been pleased with the way that worked out.

So I’ve decided to publish it myself. Whether via Lulu or some other means is still in doubt. I haven’t figured out what set of rules I should make it compatible with, but I’m guessing I’ll just make it as close to ‘generic D&D’ as I can using a rule set like “Labyrinth Lord” or similar.

This is a massive undertaking. So far, without maps or much editing, the manuscript runs over 100 pages. The maps are all poorly drawn in pencil on yellowing graph paper and need to be redrawn. I’d like to use the book as a showcase for my illustration and will be illustrating it myself with scenes of adventurers in the dungeon itself (the picture above is my rendition of one of the encounters involving a giant cyclops and his pet hydra that I painted for my own amusement). I would also want the book to be interesting for the other dungeon masters or mega-dungeon fans to read, so many of the entries (which consist of just the name of a monster, hitpoints and treasure, if any) have to be written and ‘fleshed out.’ There are also lots of errors: missing levels, stairs that lead nowhere, mislabeled rooms, etc. An unrealistically optimistic estimate would say that the earliest it will be even close to being ready for print is a year from now.

But I’m excited and eager to see it through. As an example of how I would like to see the maps done, I’m attaching one of the maps (level 2f) below. Click to see an enlargement.


I dare you to post this to your blog…; NSFW

The other day I read this on Raggi’s LotFP blog:

So I’m contacting some artists and actually using the words, “Give me something that will get me arrested for publishing it.”

I am not one of the artists that Raggi contacted, but his challenge touched something in my base nature… and I wanted to see if I could draw something that would get Jim Raggi arrested for publishing it. Several ideas were considered and discarded. Zak S. (of Pornstars fame) submitted a link to a particularly good drawing that involved dildo-wielding midgets with T-pins in their eyes. I decided to consider the gauntlet thrown down and tried to combine things that would make Larry Flynt uncomfortable (for the record, I don’t think I managed to produce something that would make Larry Flynt squirm).

Cannibalism is pretty bad, so I had to put that in… but necrophilia is worse… so why not both? For some reason naked females don’t make most viewers uncomfortable, but seeing men with their dicks hanging out does… so I had to have several dicks in the drawing. But not just men who were naked with flaccid dicks — they had to be naked men sticking their dicks in places where most decent people would think they didn’t belong. Hence a goblin throat-fucking a decapitated human corpse. In retrospect, I should have included pedophilia, but one can’t think of everything. One of the goblins is eating a still living human baby while shitting in the mouth of a severed human head… that ought to count for something.

I finished the drawing and emailed a scan to Raggi, hoping to hear him say, “This will be the cover of my next adventure!” Unfortunately, all I got was:

I dare you to put that on your blog.

Maybe that’ll start one of these meme things I keep hearing about.

That Raggi is all talk.

Unfortunately, even the most casual perusal of art history reveals that all of this stuff has been done before (and usually done better — Goya’s “Saturn devours his Sons“* is so sick and cool). I’ve seen a shitload of medieval woodcuts illustrating “Der Kinderfresser” (The child eater). They even erected a statue of him in Switzerland. Torture and impaling has been well covered, especially in the illustrations of the Catholic Church going to work on the heretics and the Protestant denominations going to work on the witches. Images of rape are as old as pornography. About the only new idea I have is a goblin fucking the throat of a decapitated corpse… but surely I cannot be the first person to think of that?

*Goya apparently put this picture on the wall of his dining room where he and his family ate their meals… which must had lead to some interesting dinner conversations.

Update 12/29/2011: This picture apparently has a cult following now and is being cited as proof’ of my degeneracy and/or genius.  I guess that means that as an artist I have finally “arrived.”

Come drink from the fountain!


MINES OF KHUNMAR to be published (soonish I hope)

A few years ago I released a pdf of notes and maps (about 5 mb — 50-60 pages) of a “megadungeon” of my own creation that had been ‘under construction’ since 1980 or so. It got some approval from those who like big-ass dungeons, like here… or here… or elsewhere.

But the initial release (in 2004), although free, was just a scan of about 90% of the maps (eight levels; each level consists of around 2 to 5 maps) and very brief summaries (written by me) of what was on each level. It was just an outline.

Enter Geoffrey McKinney. He downloaded the ‘outline’ and wrote me to say that he wanted to see it printed. I hemmed and hawed and whined that the original notes were all written in pencil or ink on school notebook paper with lots of abbreviations and cross-outs and spelling errors and my handwriting was crap anyway, so he said that if I scanned the pages, he would type them up and send me an MS word copy. I took him up on his kind offer.

About a year ago, one of the OSR publishers approached me to ask if I would like to see Khunmar go to print. We had some discussions, but after a year we hadn’t made much progress, and, since I have been out of work for a while, I decided that if ever I was going to have time to work on Khunmar, it would have to be now. Previously I had released ‘Exquisite Corpses’ via Lulu and had been pleased with the way that worked out.

So I’ve decided to publish it myself. Whether via Lulu or some other means is still in doubt. I haven’t figured out what set of rules I should make it compatible with, but I’m guessing I’ll just make it as close to ‘generic D&D’ as I can using a rule set like “Labyrinth Lord” or similar.

This is a massive undertaking. So far, without maps or much editing, the manuscript runs over 100 pages. The maps are all poorly drawn in pencil on yellowing graph paper and need to be redrawn. I’d like to use the book as a showcase for my illustration and will be illustrating it myself with scenes of adventurers in the dungeon itself (the picture above is my rendition of one of the encounters involving a giant cyclops and his pet hydra that I painted for my own amusement). I would also want the book to be interesting for the other dungeon masters or mega-dungeon fans to read, so many of the entries (which consist of just the name of a monster, hitpoints and treasure, if any) have to be written and ‘fleshed out.’ There are also lots of errors: missing levels, stairs that lead nowhere, mislabeled rooms, etc. An unrealistically optimistic estimate would say that the earliest it will be even close to being ready for print is a year from now.

But I’m excited and eager to see it through. As an example of how I would like to see the maps done, I’m attaching one of the maps (level 2f) below. Click to see an enlargement.