Atlas Shrugged; Zeus Farted

If you didn’t hear, the latest ‘economic determinism’ movie puff piece, “Atlas Shrugged (part 1!)” opened in a very few select movie houses last night. Perhaps the more conspiracy minded are correct and the Liberal Elite of Hollyweird have actively sought to supress the film in order to prevent the masses from seeing it and learning the truth… or perhaps it is actually just another shitty movie made by people with an axe to grind. There may be something to the conspiracy; nothing has prevented Hollywood from promoting the fuck out of a shitty movie based on a crappy book which describes the virtues of a rather shallow pool of populist philosophical posturing disguised as ‘philosophy’ or ‘religion’ or both before… Hollywood encouraged us to go see Battlefield Earth… why would they not want us to see Ayn Rand’s objectivist parable unless (GASP!) they* don’t want us to learn the truth!
Unfortunately, adherents of this pernicious ‘philosophy’ can be found on Aldeboran. In a high mountain pass in the county of (location as of yet undetermined) lies the isolated settlement known as ‘Ouray‘ or ‘Galt’s Gulch.’ The town is surrounded by a massive stone wall without gates (the inhabitants bricked up the gates of the town when they moved in, years ago).

The town was founded by Johann Galt, a philosopher and visionary who preached the gospel known as ‘Objectionism.’ Galt felt that all of the world’s ills sprang directly from ‘opportunism’ by the ‘parasite classes’ and the poor who leeched off and dragged down the true leaders and innovators and visionaries. Decades ago he attempted to secretly recruit all of the greatest inventors, visionaries and artists to join him in ‘Galt’s Gulch,’ but most of them were too busy inventing, creating and doing to join him. Having gathered, however, a sufficiently large cadre of leaders, investors and the wealthy and privileged (who made up for a lack of useful talents and skill by the zeal with which they embraced Galt’s Gnosticism), he set out to found his perfect society. Their motto is, “You will miss us when we are gone!”

Unfortunately for the Objectionists, most of the rest of the world didn’t notice their absence. Since the Objectionists recruited only the ‘cream of the crop’ for their society, there were no common workers to do things like grow food, cook meals, make clothing or do any of the other things… thus almost 90% of the supplies continue to require to be imported, placing considerable strain on the stockpiled wealth of the Galtians and causing considerable deprivation and misery. The less ideologically consistent members who questioned the vision of Galt or suggested that the town charter be adjusted to allow some good cooks or gardeners in were tossed off a high precipice to fall screaming to the rocks below. Since the time of this ‘Great Purification,’ no one questions Galt’s pronouncements and all loudly declare with nervous sideways glances that they are quite happy in their mountain “paradise.” A few enterprising merchants still bring mule trains of food, clothing, firewood and other necessities to the village where the Objectionists lower baskets filled with coin from the high walls by ropes in exchange… but the proportion of copper to silver and gold in the baskets has been growing greater as the stored wealth of the elites is continually depleted, so the merchants are less eager and visit less often, leading to a certain ragged, hollow-eyed desperation on the part of the Galtists.

*If you are an objectivist, they=anyone who isn’t an objectivist. If you are Mel Gibson and you have been drinking, they=Jewish Hollywood Elite. If you are Mel Gibson and you are sober, then some of your best friends are Jewish. If you are a card carrying liberal, then you are a part of the problem.