I was gonna write something moving and important today — maybe about Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s current “race relations” dilemma … or the cynical maneuverings of the US Republican party on the NYC mosque issue… or the cowardice of the US Democratic Party on the same issue… and then I just said, “Fuck it,” and decided to post this picture of how I think “He-Man and The Masters of the Universe” should have ended.
I wasn’t a fan when He-Man was on TV (being a little too old for it), but, in retrospect wonder how many of the creators of this show were chuckling behind their hands as they had the effeminate “Prince Adam” secretly save the universe every episode as his butch alter-ego, He-Man. The name, ‘He-Man,’ was especially funny because becoming a ‘He-Man’ was the goal for Charles Atlas’s skinny 90 pound weakling, Mac, who was sick of having bullies kick sand in his face. They were still running that same ad (which looks like it dates back to WW II) in comic books when I was a kid.
As I recall, He-Man stories were cribbed, plot wise, from the old Superman cartoons. Prince Adam and Teela, his female companion, are confronted by some horrible plot or disaster or villain. Price Adam then runs away in fear and secretly transforms into He-Man. The hero sets things right, earning the gratitude of Teela and the population who never suspect that He-Man and Prince Adam are one in the same even though they look exactly alike except for clothing and hairstyle. The danger averted, the hero departs, changes back into Prince Adam and comes back and asks what he missed. Teela then tells Prince Adam that he is a loser and wonders aloud why he can’t be more like He-Man. Prince Adam then breaks the fourth wall of cinema by winking at the viewer and making some self-depreciating joke while Teela rolls her eyes. Substitute Clark Kent for Prince Adam, Lois Lane for Teela and the cartoon is a direct ripoff of the Superman cartoons I watched in the late 1970s.