Monster of the Howling Hall

The Howling Hall is “haunted” by a creature that can drive anyone mad with sound and on dark nights the sounds of otherworldly music have been reported by passers by.

The “monster” of Howling Hall is actually a creation left behind by the former owner; a musician and wizard named Zann who apparently was obsessed with discovering the magical properties of sound. The “monster” is an Accordian Golem — made entirely of animate magical accordians and concertinas.

Accordion Golem (unique monster): Move 12″; AC 4; HD 6 (40 hitpoints); 2 attacks 1-6+1/1-6+1; Special abilities: 1/2 damage from blunt weapons, vulnerable to fire, regeneration, sound attack (see below).

Because the accordion golem is made up of leather and pliable wood, blunt weapons (like maces and hammers) do 1/2 damage. It can be struck by non magical weapons, but such damage regenerates at 3 hit points per round. If within the area of a silence spell, the golem cannot regenerate damage. Fire damage on the golem cannot be regenerated.

Every round, anyone within 30 feet of the creature must make a saving throw or suffer a randomly rolled effect (1d6):

  1. Cower in fear for 1d4 rounds. No actions possible.
  2. Dance uncontrollably for 1d4 rounds. Can move at 1/2 speed, AC and attacks are at -2; no spell casting possible.
  3. Deafened for 1d4 rounds. Is immune to the sound effect for that time, but cannot hear other players either.
  4. Confused: will attack random adjacent target for 1d4 rounds.
  5. Run away in fear at top speed for 1d4 rounds.
  6. Temporarily lose 1d6 points of wisdom (will regain 1 point per day of rest). If wisdom reaches 0, victim dies.

Various magical musical instruments are hidden within Zann’s Howling Halls, including a few of Zann’s “Beads of Silence.” These small fragile glass beads can be tossed up to 30 feet away, and, on impact, will create a 10′ diameter zone of absolute silence (as per the spell) that will last 2-5 rounds. There are also rumored to be various other items including a drum that can call down lightning from the heavens, a flute that can cast charm spells, a whistle that can summon a monstrous dog who will serve the whistle owner when blown and various song books and scrolls that contain the formulas for magical musical rites.

Zann had a pair of ear plugs which, if worn, made the wearer immune to aural attacks of all sorts (including the song of harpies, the sound effect of the accordion golem, etc.). However, the wearer will be 100% deaf while wearing the plugs (and spells with a verbal component are likely to fail (wisdom check on 1d20) since the caster is likely to unwitting mispronounce the formula).

The Howling Halls themselves were one of Mage Zann’s proudest achievements; he concieved the entire structure as a sort of musical instrument and aural environment. Flues are built into the walls to provide ventilation to the deepest cellars, but these flues were also designed to whistle, pipe and moan from the action of the wind, especially when certain doors are either left open or shut. It is thought that one may actually be able to ‘play’ the building like a musical instrument with different combinations of open and shut doors and that the tones produced will have different magical effects. In addition, various halls and chambers are designed to create echoes and sound effects to confuse and frighten intruders, and some of the sound effects are more than just illusions and may actually cause harm to the unwary.

Zann himself is rumored to have disappeared many years ago without explanation, although stories say that he was last known to have entered (and never returned from) an upstairs room with a curtained window which the mage would retreat to work on some of his more esoteric musical compositions for viola.

Many have tried to raid or explore the Howling Halls since Zann’s disappearance. Only one of these bold adventurers made it back. He died shortly after wandering back into town, incurably mad, raving about the ‘horrible sound of those pipes in the dark out there.’


I (heart) the Snail Flail

Some of the monsters of AD&D are so silly that I can’t help but love them. Number one on my list is probably the ‘Flail Snail.’ Imagine a snail, about the size of a pony cart… buy where the head should be are a bunch of tentacles, each of which ends in a spiky ball that the snail can wave around and smash things with. I’m guessing that, being a snail, it’s slow moving — so running away from the snail should present no problem… except the flail snail has a shell of dazzling, iridescent colors that glows, hypnotizing anyone who gazes upon it. So instead of running, you will just stand there, slack jawed, staring at the shell while the goddamn snail pounds you into a jelly with his tentacles. Like the runt of the litter, a creature that has been the subject of so many cries of, “How stupid!” or “That’s lame!” just makes me want to love it more.

In searching the interwebs for pictures of flails, snails and flail snails, I was interested to discover on a medieval history blog that there is a history of knights confronting snails illustrations in the margins of various medieval books. According to the author of aforementioned blog, illustrations of knights fighting or about to fight snails occur too often to be accounted for as the obsession of one or two insane illuminators — apparently this was some sort of inside joke or medieval psalter meme that has been lost in the mists of time.

Update: Looking at the blog roll, I see that Vaults of Nagoh has updated his blog with a link to the snail vs. knight motif in medieval arts: The Witless Warrior. Chris even posted this brilliant example:


Bestiary Entries (3)

Here are three unusual creatures which may be of interest to the traveler or fantasy naturalist.

Arrowsnake: The arrowsnake is an unusual snake that has a sharply pointed diamond-shaped head and two small feathery wanes on the tail that resemble the fletching on an arrow.

This unusual snake can be found lurking alongside trails and paths and attacks it’s prey in the most unusual of manners. If a flexible sapling and thicker tree are availible perpendicular to a well traveled portion of the pathway, the arrow snake will hook it’s neck around the sapling and then use it’s tail to hook around the tree and, using the natural springiness of the sapling, draw the sapling back. It can hold this pose for hours or even days. When suitable prey passes along the path, the snake releases hold on the tree and straightens its body, using the sapling as a catapult to hurl itself forward like an arrow, and, if it’s aim is true, piercing the target. The arrowsnake has also been known to select a pliable branch, grip that in it’s teeth, prop the branch between two trees and use a third tree and it’s tail to draw back the branch like a bow; when prey passes it’s hiding place, the arrowsnake releases it’s hold on the rearmost tree and pierces it’s pray with the considerable forward momentum obtained in this manner.

Unlucky or nearsighted arrowsnakes who miss their targets have been known to embed their own heads in trees where they can easily be dispatched or left to starve. In any case, the canny or ethically challenged traveler will often insist that a companion proceed them on the woodland trail if arrowsnakes are suspected.

Cautious travelers will wear a rather bizarre looking (but effective) protection in the form of a large ‘sandwich board’ costume.


Closet Sloth: The closet sloth is a temperamental and anti-social creature about which very little is known. How it ends up in closets among the seldom worn garments is not understood, but if disturbed it reacts with violence. These creatures may hang for weeks or even months in the backs of seldom visited closets and will normally be content to remain hanging, attempting to be mistaken for a moth eaten fur coat of obsolete style and low quality.
They enjoy the smell of mothballs and prefer darkness.
If a shabby fur coat should suddenly appear in your closet, best to just leave it alone. This writer would suggest you simply avoid the closet altogether and purchase a new coat or jacket which you can store by hanging over the back of a chair or banister until you are certain that the closet sloth has moved on.

Peccadillo: The peccadillo is an armadillo/chicken hybrid which will roll itself into an armored ball if offended. Although repulsive in appearance, the peccadillo is not particularly aggressive or dangerous.


Albert Fish (2007): Film by John Borowski

I watched “Albert Fish,” a film by John Borowski about the American cannibal and serial killer (upon whom characters like Hannibal Lecter of “Silence of the Lambs” are supposedly based).

Albert Fish (1870-1936) was a traveling house painter who claimed to have killed and/or molested children in every US state after he was caught. He was sentenced to death and executed in the electric chair for the murder of a young girl, Grace Budd, in 1928. The exact extent of his crimes are not known.

The film uses documentary film clips (many of which, based on my observation of the vehicles, are actually from the 1940s and 1950s rather than Fish’s era), photographs, interviews and re-enactments of portions of Fish’s crimes as well as dramatizations of visions that Fish claims to have (or might have had). Since Fish was into some pretty sick stuff (coprophilia, urophilia, pedophilia and masochism), these clips are thankfully less than explicit, but the production value of the film is on the low end. Other than some scenes like closeups of a whip hitting a boy’s buttocks, some fake blood and the actor who portrayed Fish drinking blood and eating a piece of what looks like raw flesh from the arm of an actor portraying Jesus Christ (a dramatization of the theme of one of Fish’s religious fascinations that may have led to his cannibalism), the visual content of the film is not overly strong, but the storys told and the letters from Fish, in which he describes his crimes are pretty gruesome.

The film features some interviews with Katherine Ramsland who speaks at some length as to what she thinks might have motivated Albert Fish to commit these crimes. Ramsland is apparently a ‘true crime’ author and a writer of books and articles on the supernatural. I found it humorous that as she was interviewed, I could see a shelf of books over her shoulder upon which, prominently displayed, was “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Criminal Investigation.” Seeing that book did not make me find her arguements more persuasive.


Green Slime

The good thing about Green Slime is that it has its own theme song:

And the poster is pretty snazzy too:

I think if I run another game, green slime is going to need a serious work over.


Green Slime

The good thing about Green Slime is that it has its own theme song:

And the poster is pretty snazzy too:

I think if I run another game, green slime is going to need a serious work over.


Yeeks!

It only gets worse! Check out the not-so-subtle reference to a popular and hideous internet meme from the upcoming Exquisite Corpses:


Oh the humanity!


Yeeks!

It only gets worse! Check out the not-so-subtle reference to a popular and hideous internet meme from the upcoming Exquisite Corpses:


Oh the humanity!


At the Mountains of Madness

A movie trailer for a film that doesn’t exist (but I wish it did) mocked up by someone with access to a lot of footage from expeditions to Antarctica and a great visual sense.
Why can’t we get films like this one?


A really cool Exquisite Corpse

Here is a really great exquisite corpse I found via google. I don’t know who the artist is, but that is a DAMN FINE MUTANT CREATION!