News from The Icelandic Ministry of Elven Affairs

Elf lover.

An MP of the Independence Party in Iceland has had a 30 ton boulder relocated to protect it because the boulder is home to several generations of elves.  He decided to move the boulder after a 2010 accident in proximity to the rock left him unharmed due to elven intervention and he realized a future expansion of the road would disturb the location.  I assume that since it is Iceland, those are metric tons.  Metric tons are slightly smaller larger than US tons, but that is still a fucking heavy boulder.  I’m sure the MP is hoping to have the elf vote all sewn up in future elections.

As the MP, Arne Johnsen, explains it, “I had Ragnhildur Jónsdóttir, a specialist in the affairs of elves from Álfagarðurinn in Hellisgerði, Hafnarfjörður, to come look at the boulder with me,” recollected Árni. “She said it was incredible, that she had never met three generations of elves in the same boulder before.”  The article goes on to state the measures taken to make sure that the elves will be happy in their new location.

I don’t know what part of this story makes me happier — that Iceland has MPs who care enough about keeping the elves happy to move gigantic boulders from one island to another, or that ‘specialist in the affairs of elves’ is a job title there.  More on elf expertise and the boulder here… including pictures of the elf home (but none of the elves, unfortunately).  That this degree of whimsy  is seemingly publically accepted makes me want to move to Iceland.


Detroit as Spookhouse

OK, someone is running a crowdfunding campaign to turn a stretch of abandoned, post-industrial Detroit into a ‘zombie’ theme park. You can also read about it here. Or here.

Here in Detroit Metro, we hear the mayor and the city council spitballing ideas back and forth to increase shrinking revenues while decreasing expenditures.  Some proposals include simply abandoning sections of the city and relocating the residents to other parts to save on utilities, police and fire coverage, etc… which has people proposing greenspaces, urban farming, etc.  There are a few urban farms up and running already.  One entrepeneur, Marc Siwak of Royal Oak, thinks the time is right for Detroit to launch the ‘zombie’ equivalent of a lasertag or paintball arena — a few acres of abandoned buildings and overgrown lots… some locals employed as ‘zombies’ with blood stained costumes, and thrillseekers paying a few bucks a piece to be one of a few ‘survivors’ trying to escape the zombies.  Run, hide, try to barricade yourself into an abandoned building, team up with someone slower than you are to increase your own odds of survival… if you get tagged and you join team Z.

From their pitch: Z World Detroit will be a unique and spectacular zombie themed experience park that will transform a virtually neglected section of Detroit, Michigan. Participants will be chased by a growing zombie horde through abandoned factories, stores and homes across hundreds of derelict urban acres. The Z World Detroit initiative is a radical rethinking of urban redevelopment and Detroit’s well-documented blight and de-population. It turns perceived liabilities into assets that will bring a renewed vitality to a struggling neighborhood. When done right, Z World Detroit would be transformative for part of the city and become a legitimate destination.

What do you think?  Sound reasonable and plausible? AFAIK, it currently lacks funds or permission.

My thought is, “Why not try it”?  I don’t know if it will work or not… or how many years it will work if it does, but, given the condition the city is in, provided the city itself does not have to pay for it, what does Detroit have to lose?  The city could lease abandoned land in return for a tax credit to the company running the operation, and perhaps make money on parking and the revenue that the ‘zombie camp’ might bring in.  If it fails, well, the land could go back to being abandoned, right?  If it succeeds, the city and ‘Z World Detroit’ can look at re-negotiating a few years down the road. It could be fun, too.

addendum: One of the thoughts that occurs to me is that ‘zombie walks’ and similar things, where people in zombie make-up shuffle around drooling ketchup and chewing on beef jerky (or whatever they chew on) are going to dull our senses to the point that when a real zombie outbreak occurs, many people are going to assume that the moaning, drooling, bloody creature shuffling towards them is just an amateur actor in greasepaint… and that will be the last mistake they make.  It’s enough to make me think its part of a plot — they are trying to mainstream zombies, like the satanists encourage kids to dress up as ‘ghouls’ and ‘goblins’ for fun… and the next thing you know, they are listening to their Beatles records backwards and killing kittens for Satan.  Mark my words.


Texas politicians oppose "higher order thinking skills"

I hope this is fake but I worry it is not.

“Texas Republican Party Calls For Abstinence Only Sex Ed, Corporal Punishment In Schools”

My favorite nugget:

The position causing the most controversy, however, is the statement that they oppose the teaching of “higher order thinking skills” — a curriculum which strives to encourage critical thinking — arguing that it might challenge “student’s fixed beliefs” and undermine “parental authority.” 

Yee-fucking-haw. We are doomed.

Addendum: I went to the source.  Visit the homepage of the Texas GOP Convention and you can download a copy of their platform statement.  I didn’t read the whole document, but found this:

“Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.”

Based on this, one of the ways in which the Texas GOP has been misrepresented is that they state opposition to a certain kind of teaching philosophy, and not “thinking” itself, but the meat of the criticism seems to stand.  Since the platform statement is intended to be the ‘doorbuster’ that gets people fired up about what these politicians are going to do for them, this is some scary shit.  Granted, based on past and current performance, the opposition isn’t any better, but sheee-it.  So seldom have politicians been so honest.


Google adverts

Google analytics has determined that I really want cheap swords made in Asia because everywhere I go online and whenever I open up my email I get ads for Bud K’s “Swords for under $30.00!”

Obviously they have recognized me for what I am; a barbarian on a budget.

Here is their video of the 300 style Spartan sword chopping up an old mini van:


Demon / Devil anatomy

Check out this excellent picture of devils from a medieval book I found here (well, there are saints and angels and Jesus in the picture, too, but the good guys look like a bunch of snooty killjoys; my eye is drawn to the much more expressive and happy-looking creatures on the bottom half of the page):

The devil in the middle, with the chicken feet hands and a face on his belly, has little faces on his (her?) knees, elbows and shoulders and the rest of the limb comes out of that faces open mouth.  I’ve seen this curious trick of anatomy before in other medieval art before, and always liked it.  It suggests to me two things:

  1. If I were into tattoos, wouldn’t it be cool to get demon faces tattooed on my joints?
  2. If his knee face or elbow face bites down, isn’t the rest of the limb going to fall off?

Updates, set dressing for Maniacs and shut up you

If you are one of the 3 people who follows this blog, I thought I would drop in and give you an update.

I’ve got a few commissions on the ‘to do’ list right now, which is good because we always need a cash infusion. Some are for Goodman Games DCC RPG adventures, some are for Barrowmaze 2 (I don’t know when that is coming out, but yours truly did the cover and some monster illustrations so far; more to come)… and there are some others. Plus I am still doing the ‘drawing a day’ notebook (sample from earlier in the year at right — some are better than this, many more are pretty uninspired).

Because the non-profit I was working for has had some funding difficulties, I have had to go back on the job market, and that is eating up a lot of my time and energy. I’ve got some feelers out and have been trying to network; I’m looking for a production/creative position in Detroit Metro; I have photoshop and Indesign and Creative Suite skills plus a pack of good references, but I have never been the best self-promoter and I suck at networking plus no one seems to be hiring so doing the job market thing is an uphill battle.

I was watching the 1980 movie, Maniac, the other night. After feeling beaten down by the job hunt, there is nothing like watching a movie about a fat, pockmarked guy who lives a Norman-Bates life in a tiny, shitty apartment and who goes out at night and kills women and scalps them to help cheer you up. In the killer’s apartment, in addition to all the mannikins adorned with women’s scalps (it’s like Neverland Ranch in there), there is an abstract drawing on one wall that looks really cool and I was trying to figure out where it was from and how I could get a better look at it. I was pausing the video but resolution was low and it was slightly out of focus — it looked like a drawing of polyps and entrails in the style of this fucked up Alberto Giacometti sculpture that I like, but in 2d and in color — like something that someone drew when they were on acid and then their mom threw it out and someone from the movie found it and said, “This looks suitably creepy; let’s hang it in the maniac’s apartment.” I was hoping to find a still from the movie where you can see it and post it to the web and (hopefully) get an ID from someone who knows these things, but no luck so far. Who knows? It might have been something that the setdresser picked up in a flea market (I met someone who does set dressing for films, video and photo shoots, and she said that in the 1980s she could get unbelievably great stuff at mid-western thrift markets; she used to fly in from NYC and they would just buy shit and ship it back to NYC for prop use… since ebay, though, her ‘golden days’ of thrifting are over). What the artwork was and where it came from will probably remain an intriguing mystery. I think in the still of the film posted here of the Maniac looking at the newspaper, the drawing in question would be above the bookshelf with the dolls on it behind him.

That is all. Now I have to shut up and get back to work.


Check this shit out…

Annie sent me this link: http://www.visualnews.com/2012/03/19/endearing-monster-drawings-pop-from-the-screen/

(edit: on the original page, the picture is animated so that it appears to move, but is only works sometimes here on wordpress, goddamn it, so you will have to click on the link to get the full effect.  There are a lot of them and and explanation as to how they were animated from static pics so take a look).


Crowdsourcing my gadget decision-making


For my birthday this year, Annie (my S.O.) has suggested I upgrade my technology and I’m waffling between three choices — if you have any suggestions or observations, add them:

a) iPad: So many people have ’em and they really make my palms itch with desire. Will use for browsing web, reading, goofing off, etc. Good thing: Currently use an old, shitty and beat up HP laptop and/or desktop for this and replacing the laptop makes me happy. Bad thing: I don’t need more reasons to goof off.

b) smartphone: My current phone is just a phone (it might also have a clock and tip-calculator in there). It doesn’t even get texts. Since so many of my pals use texts, I feel left out. Plus the navigation options are pretty sweet and useful. I don’t know exactly what phones are available from my cell provider, so I haven’t picked a specific phone yet. Bad thing: The phone is the cheapest choice in terms of up-front cost, but the long term cost of the increase in mobile charges probably make it probably the most expensive. Good things: Navigation, music in my pocket and keeping in touch.

c) Mac Mini: The Mini costs around the same as the iPad… and I can chain it with my current PC desktop to share monitor, keyboard, etc. Will use for scanning, archiving, publishing projects, etc. Good thing: Probably most useful and shit I miss the Mac system after having used Windows for a few years. Bad thing: Will have to add adobe suite (driving cost up).

Any opinions/options/ideas I ought to consider? Thank you, internet.


Satan!

While looking for something else on the information superhighway, I found this AWESOME picture:

Who would not want to hang with such an awesome Satan dude?  Anyone out there know who the artist is?  I want to see more!


Update & Hell Orifice (probably NSFW)

I’ve just finished a bunch of drawings for a couple of different projects and need to take a breather today. A relative who still has high hopes for my future keeps sending me stuff to read about professional development, so that’s on the docket for today along with some more drawing and some housecleaning.  So far today I have done shopping, my drawing-a-day and walked on the closed-for-the-winter golf course with the dogs.  Life is exciting at Chez Limpey.

At right we see a witch about to give Satan ‘the kiss of shame.’ There is nothing I enjoy more than a good-old-fashioned perverted woodcut — speaking of which, have you ever heard of the artist, Tom Huck?  You can thank me later.  Warning: Link is probably NSFW by most standards, but that is kind of the point so there you go. If I had $1000.00 burning a hole in my pocket, I might do Huck’s bootcamp some time, but, alas, I do not.  Anyone want to sponsor me?  I’ll send you a woodcut!

A few nights ago I watched about the first five minutes of Zombie Apocalypse. I used to think that making a basically entertaining zombie movie could not be terribly hard… but there are so many really, really, really shitty ones out there (and I am not including ones made by teenagers or fans for a lark), so I think the real problem is that there must be a market for shitty zombie movies.  Ah well.  Be warned: there is more than one movie out ther under this name — I saw the Syfy one with Ving Rhames.

OK, apropos of nothing important, isn’t this a shitty headline for a news story?: “Hundreds honor student killed in Ohio shooting.” I saw the headline in my news feed and had to read it two times to convince myself that it wasn’t trying to claim that hundreds of honor students were killed in a shooting in Ohio.  Why can’t people write good headlines?

Finally, I’m still doing the drawing-a-day thing.  Thius is one of my recent ones, which has a funny story behind it.  My S.O., Annie, was at a conference with an NPR radio personality and she was going to give him a ride somewhere when she realized that her car was really horribly messy and said something like, “I’m sorry, but my car is so disgusting you will probably want to ride with someone else.”  “This I must see,” he replied, so she showed him her car (which was filled with garbage, doghair and spilled leftover Indian food) and he said, “It looks like the anus of hell.”  Since then, her ride has occasionally been referred to as, “The Anus of Hell” or “The Anus.”  Which dovetails nicely into my fascination with the portrayal of hell in medieval manuscripts where devils and demons are usually escorting the damned into some giant devil’s mouth where they will suffer for all eternity.  Good stuff.  If MY version of hell, the bad people get stuffed in the devil’s mouth and the really, really, really bad get jammed up his anus.  Think on that as you eat your Sunday dinner, you sinners.

Anus of Hell!