Pastor Moustache is stupid
Posted: April 22, 2011 Filed under: crime, politics 2 Comments
Pastor Terry Jones of the ironically named “Dove World Outreach Center” of Gainesville Florida accidentally shot the floorboard of a car with his concealed weapon as he was climbing into his car after a television studio appearance here in Detroit.
Jesus told us to be generous and charitable so I am trying to be ‘generous and charitable’ by accepting the idea that the shooting of the car’s floor mat represented an ‘accidental discharge.’ Perhaps Pastor Jones mistook the floor mat for a muslim prayer rug that was hiding in ambush for him.
If you haven’t been following the story, Jones is a publicity hungry pastor with a fondness for his concealed weapon permit and outrageous ‘stache who preaches the gospel of paranoia about Islam. He had risen to fame in September for having first announced that he would burn copies of the Quran, then, after a lot of people asked him not to, he agreed not to burn the Quran… and then , apparently dissatisfied that the media wasn’t paying enough attention to him, he “placed the Quran on trial” in his church and found it guilty and executed it by, yes, you guessed it, burning it. As a result, a bunch of people who are as crazy as Jones is went bananas over the fact that Jones burned the Quran and they went on a rampage in different parts of the world and some people (including some Nato peacekeepers who really had nothing to do with Quran burnings) ended up dead.
Now Jones is here in Detroit because he and his followers want to do an anti-muslim protest in Dearborn, Michigan. Why can’t they stay in Florida? Dearborn has been in the news a lot lately because a lot of Muslims live here in Dearborn and every time some ‘terrorists on the brain’ legistlator in a state like Texas wants to get his base fired up over imaginary problems instead of trying to do something about real problems, they cite the ‘fact’ that ‘Muslim Sharia Law’ has been imposed in Dearborn (even though, based on the number of strip clubs and pork sausages availible in Dearborn, that is clearly pure fiction). Thus in places like Oklahoma and Texas, dirtbag politicians give their public profile a boost with the local nut jobs by introducing ‘anti Sharia Law’ legislation. Because they think their constituents should be more worried about imaginary problems that the legislator can ‘prevent’ than real problems that their legistlator just wants to ignore.
The First Ammendment to the US Constitution is a wonderful thing unless you consider all of the ass-headed stupidity that people do with it. I guess I have to admit that it is within Terry Jones’s rights to do these things, but I wish he wouldn’t. Given all the shit he stirs up and the obvious ‘paranoid vision’ of the world that Jones holds, perhaps it would be poetic justice if some other religious extremist made his paranoid fantasies come true and went ahead and made Jones a martyr. But I wouldn’t wish for that because that would be wrong. Unfortunately, while Jones pulls his stupid stunts that get other people in other parts of the world killed, he is allowed to drive around shooting the floorboards of cars by accident.
Think of the CHILDREN!
Posted: April 16, 2011 Filed under: books, politics 6 Comments
And Tango Makes Three, a children’s book about two male emperor penguins who adopt a penguin chick (based on a true story) is #1 on the list of “most challenged” books for 2010 kept by the American Library Association (also known as the ALA).
This Modern World
Posted: April 14, 2011 Filed under: politics Leave a commentFunny (or not so much) comics from Tom Tommorow:
Boners
Posted: April 7, 2011 Filed under: politics 2 Comments
If the US Government shuts down tomorrow at midnight, the members of congress who shut it down by failing to approve a spending bill will continue to get paid even though no one else who works for the Federal Government will.
Mr. ‘Go Daddy’ is a dick
Posted: April 4, 2011 Filed under: politics 7 Comments
Bob Parsons, CEO of GoDaddy.com (a domain registrar service) is a dick. Apparently he has gone to Africa at least twice to shoot elephants. Parsons says this is a ‘good deed’ because the elephants he shoots are ones which have been ‘identified’ as ‘problem elephants’ that trample crops, break fences, etc. The farmers are in danger of starving, reasons Parsons, therefore they need people like me to come to Africa like a rich white hunter, pay a fuck of a lot money (60-70k Parsons estimates) and shoot the elephant and then put a video of it on You Tube. Parsons derides anyone who criticizes him as guilty of ‘PC bullshit.’
Bob Parsons fails to mention that elephants probably see the problem differently. If elephants had publicists, they would probably point out that because of economic disparity among humans in Africa, the poor continue to expand into wilderness areas. “We are not trampling their crops,” the elephants might say, “They are planting their crops on our feeding grounds.”
Most of the agriculture currently being performed in Sub Saharan Africa is unsustainable: the rate of development and the rate of soil depletion spell long term disaster for both elephants AND humans. But Mr. GoDaddy wants to get his rocks off by killing elephants while pretending that shooting elephants is an act of charity… so he really isn’t interested in ‘helping the humans’ of Zimbabwe — there are a lot of ways he could do that without shooting elephants — like financing sustainable agriculture initiatives in Zimbabwe that would address soil depletion and allow farmers to keep farming the same soil without having to pick up and move every couple of years… or electric fences, scent fences, electronic noise makers and other forms of non-lethal elephant repellant. If he’s just a humanitarian who just wants to kill elephants for humanitarian purposes, why doesn’t he hire AN AFRICAN to kill the elephant? But no. Like many super-rich sick fucks, he wants the thrill of doing something that very few people can afford to do.
Rather than a video of Bob Parsons shooting an elephant, I’d like to see a video of an elephant stomping Bob Parsons into the ground.
Donald Trump birth certificate failure (sort of politics)
Posted: March 31, 2011 Filed under: politics 9 Comments
It has come to my attention that Donald Trump recently produced his own ‘birth certificate’ in order to dramatize the fact that according to Trump, Persident Obama has “failed” to produce his birth certificate to prove that he is a citizen. Obviously, arguing Obama is not legally capable of being president of the US is just a method of discrediting him without arguing any issues (and, conveniently, attempts to discredit the president for being something ‘other’ than a ‘normal’ American without using the N word… thus the closet racist can have his cake and eat it too). Coincidentally (that ‘coincidentally’ is sarcasm, by the way), the Donald is also throwing his hat into the ring for a run for President in 2012 — although why he would wear a hat when he has such a remarkable head of hair is beyond me.
Trump said, “It’s inconceivable that, after four years of questioning, the president still hasn’t produced his birth certificate. I’m just asking President Obama to show the public his birth certificate. Why’s he making an issue out of this?”
Unfortunately for ‘The Donald,’ it is actually ‘The Donald’ and the birthers who are ‘making an issue of this.’ We have had a chance to see Obama’s certificate of live birth. You can view a scan of it here. Of course, the batshit crazy will claim that it is a forgery and that anyone who remembers Barry’s birth is a liar, but the birthers didn’t get where they are today by changing their minds once the facts contradict their claims.
Ironically, the ‘certificate of birth’ that Donald Trump produced as evidence of his eligibility for running for president of the US is not considered valid for proving citizenship by birth. The document that ‘The Donald’ released is actually a hospital birth record. Basically, this is a glorified receipt that the hospital issues you for having given birth. In terms of ‘proof of citizenship,’ it apparently means very little. For that, you need a state issued certificate of live birth. Which looks like this one from President Obama.
The Donald should stick to ‘The Apprentice’ and leave politics to the adults.
Receipt Checking Denial
Posted: March 13, 2011 Filed under: philosophy, politics 7 Comments
It seems that there is a new leisure activity called ‘receipt checker denial.’ What these people do is pay for a purchase inside a store and then deny the minimum wage flunky who has to work at the door the ‘right’ to check their receipt. Proponents of this activity state that they are standing up for their rights, citing state laws in the places where they do this as stating that it is illegal for a person to be compelled to provide ‘proof of ownership’ once a purchase has been made. If you read the story above, it also sounds like it consists of giving the employee who works at the door of th rather e local Wal-Mart a hard time than just reaching into their pocket, pulling out a slip of paper and showing it to the worker.
I buy groceries at Costco. Every time I walk out of the store, someone standing at the door looks at my receipt, then looks in my cart and compares what is on the receipt to what is in the cart, then swipes the receipt with a pen and says, “Have a nice day,” or something similar. “Receipt deniers” would seemingly prefer to spend more time denying the employee a look at their receipt rather than a few seconds to just show and go. The receipt deniers cite state law and individual rights. I’ll admit I don’t enjoy having my receipt checked, but I don’t hate it either… but trying to school the Wal-Mart employee on a certain interpretation of a state law regarding whether or not you will just show them a bit of paper that says, “paid” on it seems unproductive. I suspect (correct me if I am wrong here) that some “receipt check deniers” are taking their frustrations out on the low wage employees.
If there is a law on the books in most states that states that you cannot be ‘compelled’ to prove ownership after purchase, the creators of that law probably had a very different scenario in mind when they created it. If I were to be asked to ‘prove ownership’ of my pants before I left a store, or ‘prove ownership’ of my car as I tried to drive it or ‘prove ownership’ of my home while I am in it, such demands would (naturally) become quite onerous and could even result in unprincipled individuals and organizations enriching themselves by challenging other people’s ownership of common items at every turn. If a non-employee is pushing a cart or carrying an item out of a store, I guess I can understand why the store owner would make sure they paid before leaving. I don’t steal things from stores, but I don’t think having someone ask me for a receipt as I leave means that I am being ‘treated like a criminal,’ especially if no one leaving the store is being singled out. If the ‘checker’ were to be profiling whom to ask for receipts on the basis of race or dress, for example, I would feel differently (I would also think such a method would be ineffective since shoplifters would then attempt to simply fit the profile of someone who doesn’t get asked).
(edited for snark)
"We guard you while you sleep…"
Posted: March 11, 2011 Filed under: politics 4 CommentsAfter hearing how Governor Walker fucked the workers of Wisconsin with the stroke of a pen (much publicized event) or Governor Snyder fucked the working citizens of Michigan with another stroke of the pen (hardly publicized at all, because, well, Charlie Sheen got fired around the same time)… and this after decades in which those with less have had to settle for even less as Wall Street and the Banks realized unbelievable profits, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue with no end in sight or plan in place, the war on drugs continues to occupy our law enforcement in an endless catch 22 in which we create a class of criminal by giving no opportunities for some people to work other than selling drugs and then imprison said people when they take the only realistic opportunity open to them, etc., etc., etc., and I wonder why the 90% of the people who get fucked and fucked and fucked again are not angry (well, the tea party puppets are angry… but they are angry at their fellow fucked ones rather than the people who have been doing the fucking, so, like a dog chasing his own tail, they are either sad or funny depending on how you look at it… ).
I think some anger from down below and fear up above would put this country back on the right track. From Fightclub: We cook your meals. We haul your trash. We connect your calls. We drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.
99 Followers! Plus: Does Jan Brewer hate Superman?
Posted: March 7, 2011 Filed under: politics, wierd stuff 2 Comments
I now have 99 followers! Yahoo! 100 here I come!
In other news, this morning I wondered if the mean-queen of Arizona, Governor Jan Brewer, hates Superman. Brewer seems to blame absolutely everything that goes wrong on the Mexicans who sneak across the border to pick vegetables, wash dishes and cut grass, and has compared illegal immigration to a ‘terrorist attack.’ Superman came here illegally from Krypton, and, as far as I know, the Kents never filed a request for asylum — so throw all three of ’em in a Kryptonite jail cell!
On a related note, last year a total of eight Americans were killed in terrorist attacks, whereas 29 were killed by lightning strikes. What is Jan Brewer doing to protect the citizens of Arizona from lightning?
